Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

I was never a fan of anything, and yet some people are fans of my books. That's a bit odd. But I like meeting them.

It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.

Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.

There are many reasons, of course, why someone might snap their fingers and grin. If you heard some pleasing music, for instance, you might snap your fingers and grin to demonstrate that the music had charms that could soothe your savage breast. If you were employed as a spy, you might snap your fingers and grin in order to deliver a message in secret snapping-and-grinning code.