who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.

We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.

I was once almost forced off the stage at a large chain bookstore that shall remain nameless, because she introduced me as Lemony Snicket, and I immediately interrupted her and said, "Oh no, Lemony Snicket isn't here," and then she tried to cancel the event right then and there.

In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.