Love is candy from a stranger, but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you.

I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.

Young writers should read books past bedtime and write things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing something else.

Back in the late '90s, a writer named Daniel Handler decided that kids books were too cheerful. I mean, all the "Harry Potter" series did was occasionally kill off major characters. Thus was born "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" and its mysterious author, Lemony Snicket. "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" is now a great new series on Netflix.

But it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographs - all traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram.

The holiday season is a time for storytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles. Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see, and this holiday story features any number of miracles, depending on your point of view.

Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.