The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.

Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.

It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.

Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.