Iโm not a romantic, Iโm a half-wit. Only stupid people would think Iโm smart. Iโm not something anyone should know. Iโm a lunatic wandering around for scraps, Iโm like every single miserable moron Iโve scorned and pretended I didnโt recognize. Iโm all of them, every last ugly thing in a bad last-minute costume. Iโm not different, not at all, not different from any other speck of a thing. Iโm a blemished blemish, a ruined ruin, a stained wreck so failed I canโt see what I used to be.
Daniel HandlerIf an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"
Daniel HandlerI go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.
Daniel Handler