Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
Daniel HandlerI do think of emotions as being on a circular path, so you can feel terrible and terrible and terrible, and then all of a sudden it becomes quite funny.
Daniel HandlerOnce more, this is love: it rings and you open up unless it looks like an ax murderer.
Daniel HandlerTo hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.
Daniel HandlerAfter a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
Daniel HandlerEveryone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
Daniel Handler