I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.

Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.

This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.