Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.

I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.

Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?

It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.