Thinking about something is like picking up a stone when taking a walk, either while skipping rocks on the beach, for example, or looking for a way to shatter the glass doors of a museum. When you think about something, it adds a bit of weight to your walk, and as you think about more and more things you are liable to feel heavier and heavier, until you are so burdened you cannot take any further steps, and can only sit and stare at the gentle movements of the ocean waves or security guards, thinking too hard bout too many things to do anything else.
Daniel HandlerIf you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
Daniel HandlerBesides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview.
Daniel HandlerAfter a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
Daniel HandlerIt was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel HandlerFor Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.
Daniel HandlerEveryone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
Daniel Handler