I called my mother up and I said, 'You know, I've been to the best doctors in the world and I've spent almost half a million dollars and they're telling me I have symptoms of a P.O.W. and all I did was grow up in your home.

Performing with anthrax in the building is not nearly as difficult as performing in a home where you might get stabbed at night.

I have to give the SNL crew props - it cannot have been easy to work with me.

It's tough to play the right chord on the instrument when there's someone out there who wants to kill you.

I've become fascinated by the idea that it's really achievable to make two or three small improvements in a week and by the end of the year, it's 150 improvements.

I was never in a mental institution for a long time. I was in psych wards.

I'll get to make a lot of money and do some bad sitcoms.