We really should get some X-rays,” the EMT said. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT.

I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

I love language, words, and all the lovely, exciting, and heart wrenching things you can do with them. Pick the right ones, put them in the right order, and you’ve created a moment in time where the reader forgets about the late car payment, the dirty dishes, the impending workweek. You have created a state of bliss. Or negligence, depending on your perspective.

While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.

You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.