Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson

It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.

Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I.

Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.