Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

He's helped me a lot over the years." "I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours." "I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker

Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?” I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.” “Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?” “No.” “I can pay. I have money.” “How much we talking?

Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit morbid?" "Pffft. It’s just you," I said, discounting the entire bizarre ghoulish thing.