Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Did you get checked out?” “Yeah, by a hot blond who sat in the corner of the bar and made googly eyes at me.” “I meant by a doctor.” “No, but a balding yet bizarrely hot paramedic said I’d be fine." “Oh, and he’s an expert?” “At flirting.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.

Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.