Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker

Wait, what are you doing?” She could apparently hear the strain in my voice as I craned my neck from side to side. “I’m trying to see past a little girl on my hood." “Oh. Isn’t that dangerous?” “Normally. But she has a knife.” “Oh, well, then, I guess it’s okay.

Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.

Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.

Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?