It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
That's my entire weekend. I had plans" "A Vampire Dairies marathon is not plans." She looked at me like I lost my mind. "Have you even seen the Salvatore brothers? Holy mother of gingersnaps.
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers