Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.

Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat." Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. "So, she was angry?" He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.

Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.

Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT