You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.

I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.

Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.

You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan.