You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad" Charley Davidson.

My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.

That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.

Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~