It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT

He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.

No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, ’cause that’s just creepy.

But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - " Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.

I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.

I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me

This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.