Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.

I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing

I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.

...But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I’d suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.

I’m currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless

You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.

Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte