I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt
Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?