I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
Darynda Jones...But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where Iโd suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.
Darynda JonesNever knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt
Darynda JonesI climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. โWe hooking up?โ โWhy does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?โ โUm, I wasnโt aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.โ โCharley.โ โIs there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda JonesEvery night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.
Darynda Jones