Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt

That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen.

I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson

It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.

I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.