I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.

I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT

An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

"I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?"... "Um, no, you're not getting my iMac." "Dang."