I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.

Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.

Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.

An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.