I haven't laughed so much over anything since the hogs ate my kid brother.

I couldn't be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, its possible to get another. There's only one Maltese Falcon.

I don t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.

Strictly speaking, there are no real substitutes for sexual satisfaction

To get what he wanted, a man had to give other people what they wanted.

I once knew a man who stole a Ferris Wheel.

Feed the lettuce to the bunny and eat the bunny.