She wanted to cry, but she did not want Peter to see her cry, and she especially did not want Teacher, with her flowing hair, to see her cry.

Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.

I also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to develop World Wide Web sites in a frantic scramble to reach the vast new consumer market of Web use

He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin fancier.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.