The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.

Please try not to be such a wiener-head.

I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job that didn't involve any actual work.... I felt it would be fun to have a job like that where you could make stuff up and be irresponsible and get paid for it.

Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.

As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved.