Although a science fair can seem like a big "pain" it can help you understand important scientific principles, such as Newton's First Law of Inertia, which states: "A body at rest will remain at rest until 8:45 p.m. the night before the science fair project is due, at which point the body will come rushing to the body's parents, who are already in their pajamas, and shout, 'I JUST REMEMBERED THE SCIENCE FAIR IS TOMORROW AND WE GOTTA GO TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW!'"
Dave BarryI called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
Dave BarryThere are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.
Dave BarrySir,โ James asked, โwhat are we going to do?โ โWeโre going to look for water,โ said Alf. โAnd food?โ said Tubby Ted. โWater first,โ said Alf. โWe can go days without food.โ โWe can what?โ Tubby Ted shouted.
Dave BarryAsk not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
Dave BarryThere are a number of people without whom I could not have written this book, but I hope you don't hold that against them. They are all fine people, and they had no idea how it would turn out.
Dave BarryFar too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it's so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and-yes-his passion for her: an electric blanket.
Dave Barry