I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.

I am not one to generalize, but cartoonists, as a group, exhibit a level of social sophistication generally associated with pie fights. In high school, when the future lawyers were campaigning for class president, the future cartoonists were painstakingly altering illustrations in their history books so that Robert E. Lee appeared to be performing an illegal act with his horse.

Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

Smee! Raise the Ladies!

The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.