I read "Remembrance of Things Past" in the original French. I never start the day without reading me some [Marcel] Proust.

It is a good idea to 'shop around' before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.