There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
Dave BarryI always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful and productive that would actually benefit society. Fortunately this never happened.
Dave BarryI really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.
Dave BarryMy current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those users who are somehow able to get past DOS.
Dave BarryAt certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.
Dave Barry