Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

When Prince Charles speaks, everybody pretends to be fascinated, even though he has never said anything interesting except in that intercepted telephone conversation wherein he expressed the desire to be a feminine hygeine product.

Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk.

The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'

Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.