The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you. But that is no reason to bypass this beautiful country, whose master chefs have a well-deserved worldwide reputation for trying to trick people into eating snails. Nobody is sure how this got started. Probably a couple of French master chefs were standing around one day, and they found a snail, and one of them said: 'I bet that if we called this something like `escargot,' tourists would eat it.' Then they had hearty laugh, because 'escargot' is the French word for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm.'

The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those is snakes. They usually get them when they're small, and when they get too big, they let them go. But there are also people with monkeys, lions, tigers. And they all get away, eventually.

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.

The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.