Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave BarryWhat was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be "colonial".
Dave BarryIf Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool.
Dave BarryPeople don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, "Just joking."
Dave Barry