I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We're the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we'd need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.

The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.

Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.

When I say 'serve you better,' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days.