Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.

I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Of all the wonderful things government says, that's always been just about my favorite. As opposed to if you get to keep the money. Because what you'll do is go out and bury it in your yard, anything to prevent that money from creating jobs. They never stop saying it.We will say, "This is expected to create x number of jobs." On the other hand, we never say that the money we removed from another part of the economy will kill some jobs.

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying to save money for when you split up your property.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00