Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight.

I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.

Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense- and you'll realie they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you- Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny- and they all succeed.