My son wouldn't go get heroin. If he did or didn't, it wouldn't have anything to do with whether it was legal or illegal.

I want to gag sometimes when I see who "we" are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.

In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.

You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.