There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.

You're not allowed to park a truck in your driveway. You're not allowed to work on your house on Sunday. The people who enforce these laws are nuts. After I wrote a column on this, I got I don't know how many letters from Coral Gables homeowners, story after story after story, wonderfully horrible stories. And the venom they felt for their own government!

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.

This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?