As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere.

I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion. What I'm saying is that it actually works, which is something you can say about very few other aspects of the medical establishment.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.