yearning n. and adj. At te core of this desire is the belief that everything can be perfect.

I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.

I want to know why this is such a part of me. I want to know why this thing that happened to other people has happened so much to me. I keep looking for the lesson.

I am so used to hints and mixed messages, saying things that might mean what they sort of sound like they mean. Games and contests, roles and rituals, talking in twelve languages at once so the true words won't be so obvious. I am not used to a plainspoken, honest truth.

You can give words, but you can't take them. And when words are given, that is when they are shared. We remember what that was like. Words so real they were almost tangible. There are conversations you remember, for certain. But more than that, there is the sensation of conversation. You will remember that, even when the precise words begin to blur.

underneath all that denial, you're someone who's deeply, deeply nice.

being with someone for over a year can mean that you love them … but it can also mean you’re trapped.