No one reads to hear someone complain about the weather or how poorly their children are behaving. You have to give the readers a reason to turn the page. As a writer you have to invite someone to turn the page. And that is a skill you have to refine. That is why you have to read. You have to read to learn what it is that makes people turn the page.
David SedarisIn the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, "Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl."
David SedarisThe walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for example, that in the late 1500s my little neighborhood square was a popular spot for burning people alive. Now lined with a row of small shops, the tradition continues, though in a figurative rather than literal sense.
David SedarisIn order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend Iโm a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. โI will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,โ they say. โPhoebe Wallingford will pay for what sheโs done to our family.โ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hughโs loft. โYou will be mine,โ I commanded.
David Sedaris