They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting.

I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.

...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something.

In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good.

But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.

You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.