When someone tell me they illegally downloaded one of my audiobooks I think, Thanks a lot, Pal. When someone tells me they checked my book out of the library, I'm delighted. I've always been a big library user, and feel a kinship with others who do the same thing.
David SedarisThis was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.
David SedarisI always used to reach for the cigarette when the phone rang, and I figured nobody would ever call me in Tokyo. The time difference is so profound it's, like, already September in Tokyo, and I figured nobody would be able to work it out.
David SedarisI can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
David SedarisIn order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend Iโm a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. โI will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,โ they say. โPhoebe Wallingford will pay for what sheโs done to our family.โ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hughโs loft. โYou will be mine,โ I commanded.
David Sedaris