Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
David SedarisI'm completely fascinated by the health-care debate going on in the United States, especially by posters of Obama with a little mustache drawn on his upper lip. Is that what Hitler is really known for, his health-care plan? To quote Bill Maher, "I haven't seen this many pissed-off old white people since they cancelled 'Murder She Wrote.'"
David SedarisIn order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend Iโm a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. โI will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,โ they say. โPhoebe Wallingford will pay for what sheโs done to our family.โ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hughโs loft. โYou will be mine,โ I commanded.
David SedarisI don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a reaction. When I read it out loud, then I get an idea of that, and more of an idea of how to read.
David Sedaris