I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
David SedarisThis was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.
David SedarisAll of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.
David SedarisMy hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.
David Sedaris