If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.

I don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a reaction. When I read it out loud, then I get an idea of that, and more of an idea of how to read.

But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.

It hardly seemed fair, because, unlike a horse or a Seeing Eye dog, the whole glory of being a bird is that nobody would ever put you to work.