Sallie Mae sounds like a naive and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in that state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing.

Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.

but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.

Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless.