I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it would happen quickly.

Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.

You really burden the reader if you put things in but, "Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway." Then the reader's going to think, like, "Mmm... no thanks." So the thing is to cut all that stuff out before its published.

As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.

I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.

But most good movies have a gun in them.

College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking.